These are real comments made by teachers on their student report cards.

  • Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.

  • I would not allow this student to breed.

  • Your child has delusions of adequacy.

  • Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

  • Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

  • The student has afull six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

  • This child has been working with glue too much.

  • When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

  • The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

  • If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

  • It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

  • The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.